Noobhammer!

The ongoing adventures of a group of new D&D players in their first game
Welcome to Telisar. This site is a compendium of information about Noobhammer!, a Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition campaign I am running for a few of my friends. We've been playing twice a month (mostly!) since November 2017, and we're still going strong. Below you'll find recent session summaries and lore, including short stories, worldbuilding, homebrew mechanics, and whatever else I come up with. I also maintain a beastiary containing homebrew critters I have used to...entertain the party. Thanks for visiting!   --evilchili

Recent Sessions

Episode 65: The Instruments of Debt

Wodag, 3rd of the Fox, 3207 ME Sabetha quickly approached the tower and entered without invitation, greeting the party with a silent, expectant look. Whisper produced Madame Elethi’s ledger, and passed it over. Taking it, Sabetha commented in her odd telepathic voice that she almost couldn’t believe it: the party has against all probability slain Madame Elethi, an ancient and powerful vampire that has held the political world of Uman under her thumb for centuries, and here in her hands she holds the proof.

Episode 64: The Longest Rest

Wodag, 3rd of the Fox, 3207 ME Having escaped the grounds of Madame Elethi’s Finishing School For Girls unseen, the party decided to hastily leave the area. As they made their way through the 4th Tier, eastwards towards the Grand Stair, they saw a pair of guards racing from the main gate of the school ahead of them to alert the city Watch – apparently evidence of their encounter with the erstwhile Madame Elethi had been discovered.

Episode 63: Madame Elethi's Ledger, Part III

Mimdag, 2nd of the Fox, 3207 ME Now then,” said Madame Elethi, “Mr. Keen, perhaps we can speak without reservations, as friends do. Let us discuss the possibility of working together, to our mutual benefit, yes?” “Keen?” said Sirlius, in a worried tone.

Episode 62: Madame Elethi's Ledger, Part II

Mimdag, 2nd of the Fox, 3207 ME Yuna landed hard on the surface of the water, Whisper’s Water Walking spell saving her from submerging. It did nothing to protect her from the swarm of undead rats that rose up out of the murky waterway and began attacking.

Episode 61: Madame Elethi's Ledger, Part I

Mimdag, 2nd of the Fox, 3207 ME As the party made ready to leave the manor and pursue their task of retrieving Madame Elethi’s ledger, the were greeted with the grisly sight of the corpse of the Brother Initiate of the Martial Order of Bahamut, which they had pushed outside the door and left overnight.

Recent Lore

Elethi's Vault

The circular lift ends its descent at a small landing before an archway of stone leading to a low-ceilinged room about 60 feet across: Madame Elethi’s Vault. Bolted to the stone of the archway is a plaque, with a curious inscription and an oddly-shaped lightning bolt inscribed with small circles.

The Fey Courts

The Feywild is ruled, to the extent a plane of existence composed of semi-material, nondeterministic manifestations of story can be ruled at all, by two opposing royal courts: Summer, and Winter.

The Slaying of Enod al Usaloth

As Thorus tells it, the Dead Wastes were once not as they are now, harsh and barren and dry, but a great inland sea. At the centre of the sea was an island, and upon it, glittering like a jewael, was the Elven city of Usaloth.

Madame Elethi's Ledger

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The Reign of Pharaun the Mad

Drow history and lore are comingled and difficult to tease apart, and reliable accounts are hard to come by. Nevertheless due in part to the long life of elvenkind, knowledge of events of millenia past can be unearthed.