Noobhammer!

The ongoing adventures of a group of new D&D players in their first game
Welcome to Telisar. This site is a compendium of information about Noobhammer!, a Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition campaign I am running for a few of my friends. We've been playing twice a month (mostly!) since November 2017, and we're still going strong. Below you'll find recent session summaries and lore, including short stories, worldbuilding, homebrew mechanics, and whatever else I come up with. I also maintain a beastiary containing homebrew critters I have used to...entertain the party. Thanks for visiting!   --evilchili

Recent Sessions

Episode 73: The Sentinel In Darkness

Syfdag, 6th of the Fox, 3207 ME Magnus drew his attention away from the residium dust and considered the temple. Drawing on a dim memory of a lecture he heard centuries ago in the El Astrum Public Library, he realized that this place was a Wanderer’s Temple: an ancient, sanctified space built by Dragonborn adventurers for millenia to provide aid and succor to those who would come after.

Episode 72: Snow, sand and shadow

Freydag, 5th of the Fox, 3207 ME Through the power of the Residium Binding Telepathy, Yuna and Magnus could feel, though they could not see, Ara and Keen teleporting erratically from point to point in the fog, now hundreds of feet west, now dozens south, now hundreds north, all the while being attacked by the tiny glowing orbs of light.

Episode 71: Fog Will Tear Us Apart

Syfdag, 6th of the Fox, 3207 ME After a much-needed night of rest at the Temple of Mimir the party made haste to leave the city. As they traveled to the 7th tier they debated whether they should press forward with their quest to retrieve the shards of the Heart of Bahamut and seek passage into the Feywild or detour into the underdark beneath their manor home and attempt to locate the source of the curse that has plagued them since uncovering Solafein Margoleth’s hidden cache of platinum.

Episode 70: The Truth, Or Something Like It

Freydag, 5th of the Fox, 3207 ME Returned to Telisar by the Mad Mage as abruptly as they were taken, the party found themselves meeting the dawn of a new day at Whisper’s tower – all but Whisper herself, who was returned to the streets of Uman.

Episode 68, 69: Wraitherbusters!

Mimdag, 3nd of the Fox, 3207 ME The party was surprised to find themselves whisked away from combat in the deep snows around Whisper’s tower to a small stone chamber filled with arcane sigils. Whisper too was plucked from the streets of Uman, leaving a bewildered Reva Soonrop behind.

Recent Lore

The Offerings

Arranged in a half-circle before you are five stone bowls each 2ft in diameter and 6 inches deep and resting upon a low stone plinth. Into the stone of each plinth is carved the names of five prominent Dragonborn dieties in Draconic.

The Stone Is Standing

The stone is standing Where water is breaking The sentinel in darkness Protects the path The stone is standing Where hills are rising The Green Way Arch Atop the stairway of bone

The Schism

The history of the Tiefling race as promoted by the great Tiefling scholar Pheseis Eternal has achieved the status of orthodoxy and is generally considered, by anyone bothering to consider the matter, as accepted historical fact.

Yuna's Dream

Your mother stands before you, watching your childhood home burn. You call to her, but she does not respond, You reach out, touch her shoulder to turn her away from the flames, but try as you will she only has her back to you.

Whisper's Dream

It’s gone! It was here! It was right… You search frantically through the treasure of entire lifetime, knee-high on the floor. Baubles, trinkets, toys and tools and wondrous artefacts fly left and right as you become more panicked.